so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Never joke about your clitoris.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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