Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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