That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
