love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
