$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize