so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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