i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your cock deserves a montage
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
