I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
