it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
