can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
