Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize