Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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