The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
