I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
