Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
