bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i dont even know how to be here
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
