A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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