finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
