I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
