I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Floor bacon is actually really good
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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