So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
