the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
