i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
