how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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