You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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