i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he thought i was a dude.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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