Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize