dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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