gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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