Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
