Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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