this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
