I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
