I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
