garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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