mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
