Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
