He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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