I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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