i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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