He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
