laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
