Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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