ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
