He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
