Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
