North Korea, Best Korea!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
