I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
