North Korea, Best Korea!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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