She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
