dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
