He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
