I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
