So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
