I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
