Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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