I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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