I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
