when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I bet he comes in French.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize