He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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